


I Don't Know What I Want

by undeadcannibal



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: (I think?), Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Mild Language, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 04:31:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4652319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undeadcannibal/pseuds/undeadcannibal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny has no idea what he wants. He drives himself near insane trying to figure it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Know What I Want

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god. I can't believe I wrote this shit. Seriously. Never before did I think I'd ever actually have the guts to. And now, well... here it is. In all its shitty glory. 
> 
> Behold my first Danny fic. Not sure if it'll be the first of yet to come or the last. I honestly have no clue. I'm not sure if this is good or not or if the characterization is horrible -- I just hope you guys enjoy it some.
> 
> Anyway, this fic was heavily inspired by the amazingly creative and talented EnvelopesYou and the song Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too by Say Anything. They both just seemed to fit together in the best way and I hope that I did both justice with this. Now I'll leave you guys alone. As always, don't hesitate to comment and tell me how I did or whatever and thank you so much for reading!

Silence.

Uncomfortable silence.

He really wasn’t used to it, and the slight ringing in his ears wasn’t helping much either.

Tossing and turning over and over in his sheets, his head lazily rolling along with his body, his gaze finally settled on the phone atop his dresser.

It hadn’t done anything but sit there quietly ever since he’d gotten home a few hours ago.

There hadn’t been a single call and that thought was gnawing at him relentlessly.

Usually she’d have called by now - even if it was about something small and simple - she still would’ve called.

Right?

That’s what he’d hoped for, anyway. Something. Just… something to let him know that everything was okay. That they were okay.

_Fuck._

The uncertainty was killing him.

His fingers found their way to his hair; tangling and straining the unruly locks within their grasp. If anything, the slight stinging in his scalp would be just enough to clear his mind a little.

He wasn’t sure how things had gotten this way, but now, while he laid there itching to hear that droning ringing that he’d become familiar with -- oh, he knew what it was.

It was torture.

Sweet, sweet torture.

One that he found himself clinging to when he was alone in his bedroom.

The same room that they’d shared.

Talking, laughing, smoking, teasing, kissing, _touching…_

So many things that drove him near insane remembering.

“Hah.” A dry laugh escaped him at that thought. At the rate things were going he’ll be heading for the electric chairs in no time.

_If only she’d just call…_

And that’s when it hit him.

Normally, she would call him.

But, he’d never even bothered to call her.

_Fuck._

He had to call her. Now. Before it was too late. Before he lost his mind.

Forcing his tall, lanky body to cooperate, he pushed himself up from the bed and tossed his long legs over the edge. A small shiver coursed through him when his feet came in contact with the cool floor. He should’ve known better to at least leave his socks on when he stripped down to his boxers.

Temporary stupidity set aside, he calmly plodded over to his dresser and grasped the clunky phone. His fingers traced the smooth plastic over and over while he contemplated if he really wanted to do this.

Should he go through with it? He couldn’t guarantee that she’d even want him calling her, or that she was even home.

“Fuck it.”

He wasn’t going to let himself talk him out of it. Not this time.

Before his worry got the best of him, he was pressing in her number and raising the phone to his ear, fingers twitching in time with the dial tone.

He waited and with each second that passed he felt more awful.

Shit.

He shouldn’t have done this. This was a bad idea. He should just hang up no--

“Um, hello?”

There it was. There she was. It felt tremensly relieving to hear her first on the other end and not detect any sort of anger or annoyance.

Just curiosity.

“Oh, uh -- hey. How’s it going, little lamb?”

A pause and then a sort of soft sigh.

He was nearly cringing.

“...Good. Things are going alright. Is… every alright? You never call me.”

That fact stung a little hearing it from her, but it was true. Though now, he intended to change that.

“Well, I guess it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to say that I missed the calls. Mostly ‘cause I got used to hearing ‘em every night.”

“Mhmm.”

She was probably blushing with a slight peeved expression by now, but he didn’t mind. He always found it a bit cute when she pulled that look with him; knew now how to provoke that look easily.

“Did you want to--”

“Hmm?”

She sighed once more on her end, but this time it was more of an affectionate kind. Like she knew what act he was pulling. “You know what I’m talking about. I’m alone right now if you wanna…”

Oh. _Oh…_

He didn’t call her for that reason.

Didn’t want to use her more than he already had.

“No, don’t worry. You don’t have to tell me what panties you’re wearing tonight. I’m just calling because… I -- well,” He was stuttering now. So not cool. It wasn’t his thing.

But he couldn’t help it; couldn’t help the nervousness that was probably evident in his voice. He didn’t know where to go now. He’d gotten this far, got the guts to actually fucking call her, so now what? Tell her goodbye and pretend that he hadn’t called and he didn’t feel like this? No… he couldn’t do that. Not to her. Not this time.

“I missed you. I miss you.” He forcefully pushed the words off his tongue and out into the open, opening an old wound he was still working on. He wanted to take the chance because he wasn’t sure if he would have another opportunity.

“I just--”

What?

What did he want?

Her, that much was obvious -- but how did he want her?

He didn’t know.

“Fuck…” The curse was sharp and drawn out - directed at himself - because what could he say? There was no way he could tell her how he felt. Really, really felt. You couldn’t just go from one odd encounter to another and then sex to this. It didn’t feel right, in an odd way. At least, he thought so?

Hell, he didn’t know what to think about everything. All except that she’d had him wrapped around her pretty finger badly.

“Dan.”

The sound of his name spilling from her lips broke him from his jumbled thoughts. At least for a little bit.

“Yeah?”

“What do you want?”

That simple question struck yet another chord within him.

“I-I don’t know.”

Dan couldn’t tell, but a small smile was given on her end. He probably wouldn’t be able to properly voice how he felt, but she still knew, and it didn’t bother her one bit.

“I’m coming over.”

“I… okay.”

Then she hung up and left him feeling so. His fingers found their way back into his hair again as his mind went over the conversation. That… was shitty. Super, super shitty on his end.

That wasn’t at all what he wanted.

Well, at least not what he _thought_ that he wanted.

That burning question was still singing in his brain, but he wasn’t going to have much time to mull over it. She was coming over and they would probably just leave.

Yeah, that sounded nice. Just… a peaceful drive in his car with some soft tunes offering a little space between them if they needed it.

Knowing how he was acting tonight, they probably would need it.

\---

He felt numb. Couldn’t help it.

After getting into his car and driving to some place neither of them had been to, they’d fallen into that inevitable silence, one where neither of them had spoken after a few polite hellos and other bullshit.

This wasn’t--

“Hey,”

Danny flinched slightly when she’d finally spoken up. Shit, shit, shit. He was beginning to go into full panic mode right in front of her and--

“Danny.” With little hesitation, she’d shifted in her seat and faced her body towards his while her had came to settle over his own.

The kind gesture, as small as it was, was calming. Maybe it was just the comforting contact or maybe it was the feeling of her skin against his own, he wasn’t sure, but he was sure that his head became more clear and serene from it. So much so that he was afraid he was going to lose himself if he let it continue any longer. Much to both of their dismay, he gently - oh, so gently - removed her hand from his own. But, before he let go, he couldn’t stop himself from holding on just a little longer; long enough to trace his thumb over her knuckles a few times.

Now, feeling that much better, he finally turned to look at her. And really looked at her.  

For the first time that night he noticed how she truly looked.

Beyond the simple things: slightly more revealing (but still comfy) clothes, and the slightly messy hair combined with her natural look… it was breathtaking.

The soft plump and curve of her lips and soft color her cheeks took with just the right sunset lighting, shit -- he was in deep.

“What did you want to tell me?” She questioned with a raise of her brow, cheeks warming from the intense stare he was giving her. He could probably tell but she was more concerned about what he was thinking rather than how he saw her in that moment.

“I,”

He wasn’t sure what he wanted to tell her exactly. There were so many things. How everything had been that much better since they’d started spending more and more time together. But… that still wouldn’t suffice. It might’ve for her, but not for him, no. He wanted this to be so much more than he was making it out to be.

With the way he was playing thing out, it was almost as if this was some shitty high-school based rom-com and he was that one douchey dude she had to make it past before meeting her true love interest.

He didn’t want to be that guy, he wouldn’t allow that.

He wanted to be so much better for her.

But… how?

How could he be everything she needed?

Could he ever possibly be that for her?

Maybe… he’d just have to take that plunge into the depths.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want it to be like this. I just, I don’t know. It all seemed so much easier in my head…”

He felt like he was going in circles now. He had to get back on track.

_Just spit it out already!_

While he stalled and thought about everything he so desperately needed to get off his chest, one hand was curling around the hem of her top while the other tapped her nails against the dashboard. Shit, shit, he was running out of time! She was going to get pissed and leave if he didn’t hurry up.

Just… say something please...

“I’m sorry for everything!” Blurting out the verbal vomit, his hands slammed against the steering wheel and gripped it for dear life as he began to spill his guts out.

“This… what I did… what I’ve done… it’s shitty. _I’m_ shitty for doing that to you and basically stringing you along for all of it and not giving a damn who does what or says what, I just… I felt like I needed you there, with me, even though I barely even knew you past your name.”

His thumb brushed against the worn leather of the wheel in a poor attempt to calm himself. There was no stopping now -- no going back.

“I just… fuck. This is far more than I’ve ever had to deal with before and I think, well, I don’t know exactly what I think but all I know is that since you’ve gotten here--”

“Everything has felt fucking fantastic. And I don’t just mean that because of all the cut classes and smoke-sessions, I could always do that shit on my own time, but it’s all been that much more better because of you.”

He could hear the hitch in her breath and that made him nervous.

So he continued.

If he was going to make a fool of himself, better to go big than go home now.

“What-What I’m trying to say here is that I honestly have no fucking clue what we are. Like, I’m not complaining about anything we’ve done, it’s just… I don’t want to fuck this up -- I don’t wanna fuck you up.”

Well, he was giving up on himself.

His head rolled forward and his forehead smacked the steering wheel harder than he cared for, but did it really matter at this point? He was done for. Had dug himself deep enough to where he couldn’t get out.

‘Cause now, she was laughing hard enough that she was clutching at her sides.

Yep.

He’d finally fucked things up.

But, deep down, as painful as her laughing at him was, it was slightly nice. He hadn’t heard her laugh like that before. And he had to admit, the sound was fucking amazing. Cute. Even if others wouldn’t think so, he did. Shame it had to be at his expense though.

He grit his teeth a few times over before settling on just biting his lips. A little pain to relieve the shame. That would curve things over enough to make it through the drive home.

“Ha ha, hey, yeah, you know let’s just forget about it, deal?”

“N-No way am I forgetting that.”

Did she really have to rub salt in the wound like that?

Danny’s expression shifted over and over before settling on one of poorly-hid frustration. “Hey! I tried to--”

Wait… wait… she wasn’t… she wasn’t?

Before he could make another verbal screw up, her finger was pressing to his lips and her head was tilting just the slightest as a smile made its way onto her face.

Well, shit.

Danny couldn’t help but blush at the sight.

Maybe… maybe he didn’t fuck everything up after all. If that expression said anything, it was that things couldn’t have been as bad as he thought. Right?

“Sooo… are you trying to say you’re not gonna forget because it was embarrassing or…”

Yeah, no, she should leave right now since she had the chance.

“Do you trust me?”

That wasn’t what he was expecting her to say, but he was answering her without thinking nonetheless.

“Yes.”

“Then c’mere, little lamb~”

Now that he thought about it, the roles were reversed this time around. That wasn’t going to stop him though.

Without thinking he was clicking off his seat belt and moving forward, closing the distance between them little by little. Just like before her hand drifted over his jack and gripped at the leather lapels, clenching them far too tight but that was going to be the last thing on his mind soon.

There was no mumbled questions or giggles this time around.

Just inches closing little by little and huffs of breaths on skin, making things all the more real.

Then, oh, then -- they finally kissed.

When he finally felt the familiar feeling of her lips on his own, his body was moving on its own; his own hand moving up into her hair and curling behind the back of her head. The way he was pressing himself to her and the rough mash of his lips against hers was needy and… perfect.

Oh, so perfect in a way he couldn’t describe as anything but perfect.

Little by little, time passed around them and he hadn’t noticed how late it’d gotten. It felt almost surreal when she pulled away and told him that they’d both have to be heading home soon.

He was so lightheaded from the entire ordeal that he simply nodded dumbly and parted from her with a lingering peck.

\---

Pulling up to her place and watching her get out of the car hurt. Fuck time, man.

Having her there, in his arms, lips locked and the world around them seemingly non-existent was heavenly. To have such a moment stripped away like that was a little fucked up to him.

Probably because of how deep he was.

Still, that didn’t matter.

The only thing that did matter was that they would (hopefully) get to do it again some time soon. And he wasn’t even going to bother making a cheap sex joke about that because that wasn’t what he was aiming for, no. He’d found himself craving more simple, intimate moments with her more than some hazed hook-up or lame late night sex calls.

Oh, no.

He wanted so much more than that.

After she gave him a wave goodbye, he shook his head and giggled.

“See ya’ later, little lamb.”

He knew what he wanted.

He wanted her.

 


End file.
